Hello Again

A few days ago I needed a picture of myself for a gig and I didn't have one, so I googled myself, and what I saw sent me into a deep depression for a couple of days.

I had avoided searching my own name since the events of last April, and I was pretty shocked at what I saw.

After I got over the anger and sadness, I felt sort of liberated. My name is "ruined." I am a famous Internet Nazi, so I no longer have to hide, at least online. I have made this blog anonymous, but barely, and eventually I will probably name names and go into detail in this blog that will "out" me. It doesn't matter, does it? When you google me, there it is: "white nationalist." The only thing that would make it worse is footage of me goose-stepping into Poland.

Real life is a different story. We are moving out of state soon, and once I'm among new people who don't know me, I'll go by a different name. In a few years when my children are old enough to make friends, the last thing I need is some curious parent googling me and ruining my children's lives as well. They shouldn't suffer for my decisions.

The main thing I want to say about the events of April is this: I do not apologize. If you came here hoping for an apology, I hope you feel horribly disappointed.

Despite the headlines, I don't really consider myself a "white nationalist." And I told the journalist that. She ignored it because like most journalists she is a dishonest thug. But I think "white nationalist" is narrow. White people don't have some exclusive right to a homeland. All people deserve a homeland, and white people shouldn't be an exception.

As for the unsavory tweets everyone had hysterics about: get over yourself. It's called gallows humor. I know for a fact that behind the scenes of the prolife movement there are people making dead baby jokes and rape baby jokes. It doesn't make them monsters. When you think about something horrible day in and day out, you have to make jokes about it or you'll go insane.

I don't hate any race. I don't particularly care about race mixing. I don't want to murder your mixed race baby. I don't like Hitler. I am not a Nazi. (Pretty sure the only actual Nazis left are like 94 and live in Argentina.) I don't believe in slavery, Jew-gassing, genocide, or coercive eugenics. I have no swastika tattoos.

I am not an intellectual. If you're looking for a High Priestess of the Alt-Right, you've come to the wrong place. I am, as always, a seeker. I care about the truth. I mess up all the time. I've changed my mind about important things. With this exception: despite what you've been told, I have always moved right. Ever since I began this journey back in 2006, I have moved right consistently. What "right" meant was not always clear, however, hence the two years I spent as a confused libertarian.

I am just a person who believes that it's okay for Japan to be Japanese, and it's okay for India to be Indian, and it's okay for France to be French, and it's okay for America to be American. It's not only okay. It's good. It's proper. I believe "American" means something more than "my feet are now touching American soil." A nation is not just some dirt. It is a people. It comes from the Latin natio, meaning birth. A nation is a people, and for most of our history the people of this nation were mostly English and Dutch. (According to my DNA results, wouldn't you know it, I am 51% English or Irish or Scottish, and 20% Dutch.) Then in 1965 Congress decided on our behalf that we needed some other races in here, for complicated reasons I may go into in another post.

Here's a thing: before 1965, the largest movement of human beings occurred when India and Pakistan split into separate nations, and 14 million people crossed over national borders. Since 1965, 130 million people that we know of have emigrated to the United States. According to military historian Dr. Martin van Creveld that is the largest movement of peoples ever recorded. He also notes that massive migrations are, without exception, accompanied by war, either before or after the event, but usually both.

If it makes me a vile racist to have a problem with that, then I guess I am a vile racist? But what I think it actually makes me is a regular old person. I don't hate anyone on earth. But I love my people. And despite what weirdos like Jordan Peterson might tell you, there is not only nothing wrong with feeling racial affinity, it is wholesome and good. We love it when black people love being black. Nobody gets butt-hurt when a Mexican yells "Viva la raza!" But when white people say they like being white, feel good about their race, or even posit that maybe "it's ok to be white," it literally becomes a national headline.

The truth is, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named handed journalists at HuffPo and elsewhere a double whammy on a silver platter when she doxxed me: they got to discredit the prolife movement and catch a real-live Nazi. And as we all know, Nazi-catching is now the primary business of journalists.

I have more to say. Much more. But I'll leave it at this for now: if you are sympathizing with any of what I'm saying, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Much to fear, unfortunately, but nothing to be ashamed of. Caring about your nation and your people is not hatred. It is wholesome and good and natural. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, because they're lying.